senile snails
by kai lun an
Summary: Dude, you're not even legal yet. How can you be senile? :Usual Spot friendship fic


Disclaimer: No own.

Song used: Troublemaker by FT Island.

I turned sixteen on Dec 4! So I sort of spent my birthday complaining that I'm old and will turn senile soon. That's how this fic was born. Not to mention that since I'm a sixteen-year-old that goes to college, I get stress along with senility. Yay.

Just to clear things up, these are the months I'm pretending their birthdays are in: Hayner's is in June, Olette and Pence have theirs in July, and Roxas has his in September.

**--x I can fly higher x--**

"And that's when it hit me. I'm not young anymore!"

Hayner threw his hands up in the air dramatically, letting himself fall onto the couch of the Usual Spot as he ended his tirade. Pence, Roxas, and Olette were scattered on various surfaces as they looked at their friend with amusement. Today was Hayner's seventeenth birthday and he was the first of the Usual Spot kids to hit seventeen. Olette's birthday was in a month, Pence's trailed behind by a week, and Roxas was their youngest, with his birthday being sometime later in the year.

At the moment, Hayner was having a sort of crisis, possibly rooted in the fact that he had eaten two boxes of sea-salt ice cream before he had gone to sleep the other night. Thanks to his ice cream overdose, his three friends found him at the Usual Spot using an old umbrella to help him walk as he complained about his back. They had quickly confiscated the umbrella, afraid that he would accidentally break something in their beloved hangout.

Pence rolled his eyes, "You're still in high school. I'm pretty sure that counts as young to the rest of the world."

"You don't get it! I'm forgetting things so easily now! I think I'm going snail!"

"...snail?" Olette asked, wondering what in the world mollusks had to do with age.

The seventeen-year-old nodded furiously, "Yeah! You know, when old people start to forget things, people say that they're snails?"

"...don't you mean senile?" Roxas snickered, picturing Hayner as a snail. He couldn't help but think that if Hayner was a snail, he would most definitely spend his time getting salted by Roxas. Or he could always serve Hayner to that cute blonde girl with the name that sounded kind of French.

Hayner narrowed his eyes at his best friend before resuming his rant, "Whatever! This morning, I forgot to put on pants when I left the house! You can't tell me that doesn't mean I'm going senile!"

Pence sighed and threw his useless popsicle stick at Hayner, "That's not the first time you've done that. It's happened at least twice a year since the second grade. Remember that one time you had a date with Yuna, and you screwed it up by showing up to her house in your Moogle boxers?"

"I think your Moogle boxers are cute."

"Shut up, Roxas." Hayner mumbled as Roxas kept laughing to himself in the corner. "But you guys don't get it! I'm getting old, which means I'm getting senile! And that means I can't get away with doing fun stuff anymore!"

"Dude, you're not even legal yet. How can you be senile?" Roxas asked, finally stopping his laughter long enough to get a few words into the conversation.

Hayner kept silent, deciding that none of his friends would understand until they became seventeen and started forgetting to wear pants. He prayed that Roxas would get caught in embarrassing undergarments, like boxers that were decorated with pictures of sea-salt ice cream.

Roxas hopped off of the crate he was sitting on and started doing random stretches, "Hayner, chill out. You're not going senile, and even if you are, that means you can get away with doing more stuff."

The birthday boy slightly perked up, "I can?"

"Yup. Why do you think old people get away with everything? Because they're senile. That's really the only excuse you need in life. Monopoly based the 'get out of jail free' card off of senility. Duh." Roxas explained, rolling his eyes as if it was supposed to be common knowledge.

Hayner smiled mischievously, as he stood up and grabbed an umbrella. Olette eyed him warily, "What are you doing? You know the rules, you and Roxas aren't allowed to have umbrellas in the Usual Spot after what happened last time."

"Relax, Olette. I'm not gonna use the umbrella here."

"Then what are you using it for?"

He shrugged, "I dunno. I was thinking about going over to Seifer's gang in the Sandlot and... well, who knows what'll happen from there? I'm senile, so don't expect me to know anything."

Once Hayner was out of earshot, Roxas spoke up again, "He knows that people won't really believe he's senile, right?"

"No, I don't think he does." Pence sighed, as they all stood up to go follow Hayner and make sure he didn't get arrested on his birthday.

**--x I'm a troublemaker x--**

Haha, you probably don't understand all of the umbrella references unless you've read 'idiot box.'

Review if you don't want Hayner to go senile!


End file.
